I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
