all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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