we're blogging at a bar
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
