i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize