He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
