Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
