My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
