is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
