so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
