Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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