I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
