I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
