I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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