ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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