I hate your face
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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