i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
even my farts smell like vagina
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
