When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
