if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
