What did we do last night that was yellow?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
