Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i used baking grease as lip gloss
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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