Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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