were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
