May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
