I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
