things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
