You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
