I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
