I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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