I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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