We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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