yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
