Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
