yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
