my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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