I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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