if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
