NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she peed on how many people?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
