do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize