I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize