small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
