puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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