I'm going to jail i love you
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
