You work out of a Hotel?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
