i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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