that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
