It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
