so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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