i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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