i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
