so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
