Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Alive.
So much puke
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
