Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
