I want to make a zoo with you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
