I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
