If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
