Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We talked him into tasing himself.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
