Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
