where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
