The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
