I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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