Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
