just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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