I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
