dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
