My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
