Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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