How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize