On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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