On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Barsexuality is the new black.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize
