i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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