I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
