how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
