You kept trying to hail an ambulance
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
