i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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