I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
